I have been exceptionally good this year. I have not overthrown Third World countries stupid enough to toss out my approved dictators, nor have I engaged in non-fair trade activities.¹ I have also refrained from illegal suppressions of minority votes in various elections throughout the country. I think this is sufficient to warrant granting my long-standing desire for various things.

I am, however, willing to further extend my my holiday magnanimity to the struggling Columbia Broadcasting System's paltry evening newscast. Indeed, I have been a viewer of the NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw for many, many years.² Furthermore, I had precious little respect for Walter "I Singlehandedly Sabotaged America's Effort in Vietnam, and All I Got Was Replacement by Dan Rather" Cronkite and the rest of 'em. For what it's worth, the last thing I watched on the CBS was The Magnificent Seven with Michael Biehn et al.

However, in the spirit of Christmas, I will watch the CBS Evening News if the Tiffany Network will do me but one thing:

HIRE THIS WOMAN

I will go so far as to overlook the Chirac government's rumored prevarications against the several States insofar as it will further allow me to enjoy this excellent example of Gallic womanhood, guilt-free. As Tom DeFalco or the crowd at Marvel back in the 1970s might've put it, "Make mine Melissa!"

Joyeux noël!

Yours truly,
TCP

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¹ Well, there was that one Vietnamese shoe deal, but you got what you wanted out of that one. Phil Knight thanks you, as does the DRV.

² Brian Williams is a hack.

Robbo and Steve gave me the idea for this, so all credit and a tip of the captain's hat from Richelieu to The Llama Butchers.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 02:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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