November 27, 2008

Macy's 2008

0844 - This site will, of course, provide live coverage of the 2008 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as presented on the National Broadcasting Company. Your correspondent is firmly ensconced in a comfy chair staring at David Gregory and a cast of unknowns playing with a kitchen set.

For comparison, the Columbia Broadcasting System has a segment with one of Billy Graham's daughters reading a prayer. Dear NBC: That's more appropriate than a Food Network yokel.

0901 - Well, it's Matt 'n Meredith, just like last year. At least they're on the parade route, not nestled in a set like Jane Pauley used to be.

And here's Roker with Robin Hall in a blue or purple suit; here we go!

0907 - Hooray, Kristin Chenoweth will be on later. Meanwhile, I'm not really impressed by the musical selection of this huge cheerleader group.

0911 - One wonders what "Kings 2009" is. Selma Blair fails to impress---nothing new there.

0913 - Interesting. In the Heights seems like one of those things where a neighborhood is destroyed and we're supposed to Celebrate Diversity, but who knows? Can't really understand this guy between the pseudo-rap delivery and his weird accent, so about the only thing I've gotten out of it is that he's an immigrant from the Dominican Republic.

0920 - Ryan Seacrest fails. Justin Bruening and modern Knight Rider? Bother, Roker complains about environmental correctness in regards to lunchboxes; I would have figured that a long-lived metal or plastic lunchbox would be preferable to a brown bag.

0922 - This looks like an interesting musical---I'll take the blond on the left. There was something about the now-vanquished era of the 1940s and the like that had an undeniable style and glamour, something this rotten century has lost. I watched this segment pretty closely, better than the bodega bit.

0925 - Blah, Harry Connick as the nuisance aloft. It could be worse. Robin Williams for St. Jude's is a good commercial. Meanwhile, Subaru's commercial annoys. Ooh, an Apple commercial that doesn't tell me anything about the operating qualities of the Macbook.

0928 - Michael Flatley, who's probably making more money standing there than I do in a year, is out of his element. Roker annoys and Flatley is wasted here. Meanwhile, South Pacific.

Yet another artifact from the 1940s, something that suggests a world that I'll never know. If we were at war in the South Pacific now, there'd be plenty of dames out there, and I am not reassured by that fact.

0934 - Good God, stores opening at 0400? Why?

0935 - This segment with Harry Connick, Jr., is not intolerable. It's really short and his joke is a bit (just a bit) flat. It's much better than Martin Short. I don't care about The Office. Scranton mattered for the Lackawanna, and that's been over for some time.

0938 - Apparently teen performers are up next. I'll pass. Time for boiled custard.

0943 - I appear to have missed New Jersey's own Ali Larter. Well, I'll manage. Disney's stage renditions of its animated musicals come well recommended, but this leaves me flat; The Little Mermaid isn't something that's ever had traction with me. Maybe I'm not into fish except as a consumable.

0947 - Thank God I don't have to consider purchasing Zwinky Cuties. Best commercial so far? AFLAC and Rankin-Bass. Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise commercial is annoying. Yay, Rockettes next.

0949 - Here's another artifact of a bygone era, one that's more attractive than our modern era. Dear current culture mavens: You fail. Of course, I'd tell Meredith Viera to quit her day job too. Talk about precision; apparently this sort of thing was done on a large scale back in the 1920s and 1930s. Great, the digital signal's gone crumbly again, so a row of sleek and elegant Rockettes isn't reliably visible.

0953 - Why is Ashton Kutcher shilling for Nikon? Meanwhile, the The Christmas Classics set might get bought. The Black & Decker ad is amusing. This State Farm ad is weird and the Amway Global ad bores me; nothing I have involves this. Ooh, more Rockettes. That's always a good thing.

0956 - These Soul Tigers fail to interest me. Hooray, the Pilgrims and the turkey!

0958 - The band from Sioux Falls is rather quiet relative to the Viera audio mix. Papa Smurf, Smurfette and some anonymous Smurf; amusing. Welcome to 1985 or so! This Ocean Spray float is nice; I like it. Here's James Taylor singing an appropriate song for the event.

1005 - Baton twirling is something I can't do; I'd probably hit myself in the head or the face. Meanwhile, The World War I Flying Ace, escorted by Uno, some prize-winning beagle. That's aviator cap, Meredith. Anyways, United Features Syndicate has another good balloon.

Hmm, the Georgia Tech band. Shouldn't that be reserved for high schools?

1009 - I wish nobody listened to you, Miss Cyrus.

1011 - The NYPD's Mounted Unit and marching band, hooray. I suppose that's an ancient tradition, again something that wouldn't come up today.

1016 - Oops, I missed the Hawaiian dancers. Life continues. The signal keeps freezing, so all I know is that a rhinoceros has people on it with some R&B singer. Not impressed by "Shontelle".

1018 - The Nogales Noble Regiment does Bernstein, yawn. West Side Story should have ended with a police crackdown on the gangs, not some schmaltzy death sequence for young lovers separated by gang loyalties.

Can we deport Dora the Explorer? She's probably exploring the Rio Grande for better places to bring across more illegals.

1020 - Harajuku girls? No thanks; Japanese youth culture fails. Gwen Stefani can stay over there, so far as I'm concerned.

Hooray, the Energizer bunny. I think the drums are mixed in for NBC's tranmission. I think I'd threaten that annoying "He's gonna leave" kid with shooting Santa's sled down.

American Express ads fail---Gwyneth Paltrow in particular. She's in her element as Pepper Potts, and that's about it. I still want to see Sylvia, though.

1024 - The Heartbeats Jump Rope Team from Ohio looked like Southern Railway locomotives in black and (what appeared to be) gold trim. They're skilled and all, but really, a jump rope team? Now, it's Sesame Street and I've never heard of this "popular piano virtuoso". The white guy---Bob?---is starting to show age. I vaguely remember him.

1035 - Bother, service interruption. The Clique girls fail. I wish the producers of the parade would have focused on that street parade wagon. Hair should have stayed off Broadway and in the history books; so far as I'm concerned, it is irrelevant to our cultural pantheon except as an example of how far we've fallen.

1038 - Ronald McDonald has a shoe car; that's something new if I remember. I supose you can put a fiberglass body on anything.

1042 - The Ailey Academy piece doesn't impress me much, but then black spirituals have usually not resonated with me. I've never heard of Keith Haring; it appears that he died in 1990. Well.

The Hess float explanation is interrupted when the Haring float apparently nails the NBC booth; we have no video but Viera was startled. This bunch, PushPlay, fails. Meanwhile, Copiague High School seems to be Immigrant High; therefore it is uninteresting to this publication.

1048 - Idina Menzel sings; yay?. I wasn't aware that Wicked is the longest running Brodway show; I presumed that Cats, Les Miserables or something like that would have worn that honor. I might have missed something in the regular signal snags.

1050 - Who's David Archuleta?

1056 - Macy's gets rickrolled. At least the guy's having something of a career resurgence, but being stationed on a cartoon float is probably not what he had in mind. Rick Astley, I remember your career when it was new---at least he's got the professionalism to smile and laugh when that thing mentions rickrolling. Oh, and when the puppet talks about it as well.

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