No Race? Blah.

Wouldn't you bloody know it. There's no NASCAR race today, so I've got nothing substantive to write about. The preacher had something interesting to say at church today, but I've lost the bloody bulletin and the notes I'd written about it. !@#$

Happy Leap Year.

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The Revolutionary will be Guffawed At...

When I first started this blog, I resolved never to mention a certain supposed right-of-center blogger who happens to practice a form of intimacy that I find repulsive. He doesn't need the extra talking-up, and I've never trusted the man.

Since the debut of the firestorm over an amendment to the Federal Constitution on the question of marriage, his writings had reaffirmed my decision not to trust him. That being said, I found this recently about The Purple Pundit Who Must Not Be Named:

Andrew Sullivan has always been a fundamentally shrill and emotional creature. He's got all the emotional control and intellectual consistency of a mid-pubescent eighth-grade schoolgirl. -- Ace of Spades HQ

It's a good thing that I have a heavy wooden chair with arms on it at my desk, or I would have fallen out of it laughing. It's true! It's true! It's all true, I deny none of it! I couldn't have summed up my reaction to his recent ravings more perfectly than that.

Tip of the Wisconsin hat to Jack Sparks of burn rate for this marvelous gem.

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Diversity Wastes Digital Resources

I generally don't read a lot of the e-mail that gets sent my way through the University's mass-distribution lists. It's either not targeted at me, or I simply don't care.

However, a recent message came through the servers exhorting us to "recognize the importance of diversity and cultural awareness", and it's irritated me. If you're a tolerance weenie, go elsewhere. I'm ill-rested and in a foul mood, so here goes. I have reproduced certain sections of the message, which was garbled in some part due to a MIME or HTML-mail error.

This website shows 101 ways to increase your tolerance and promote equity and diversity. [The first sixteen were reprinted in the message.]

The original suggestions are in italics; my commentary is in ordinary Roman-Arial type.

1. Attend a play, listen to music or go to a dance performance by artists whose race or ethnicity is different from your own.

Dance performance? I don't like to watch white people dancing; what makes you think that I'll enjoy anyone else doing it? Gah, no.

2. Volunteer at a local social services organization.

That sounds more like a Christian thing to do---oh wait, Christians are intolerant anti-Semitic bigots unless they kiss up to Islamics and the like. Tsk tsk...

3. Attend services at a variety of churches, synagogues, mosques and temples to learn about different faiths.

Ahem. One isn't often welcome in faiths where you're not a member. I doubt any Jews would be happy to see me in their synagogue, because I'm distinctively not one of them. The next time I set foot in a mosque---been to one in D.C.---will be when I close it down for terrorist activity. I doubt they'd want to see a Western infidel (and proud of it!) darkening their doorsteps and soiling their sacred ground.

4. Visit a local senior citizens center and collect oral histories. Donate large-print reading materials and books on tape. Offer to help with a craft project.

Visiting rest homes can be downright scary. I went to one to see my grandmother recently, and it sounded like I was in some sort of Dickensian mental ward. I don't deal well with blank stares from physical and/or mental wrecks who've been abandoned by their irresponsible families.

That being said, when I was in college, the local College Republicans went to a rest home and did nice Easter things for people, like making Easter bunnies out of household materials. I don't remember any of the campus Democrats going along, though. Once again, Democrats talk about a problem; Republicans do something about it.

Exactly how does an oral history, although inherently worthy in its own right, increase tolerance or diversity? History itself is probably above such petty political goals.

5. Shop at ethnic grocery stores and specialty markets. Get to know the owners. Ask about their family histories.

Actually, I already do this. I'm very fond of shopping at stores which serve my interests. Considering my English-American heritage, that's getting pretty 'ethnic' and 'specialty' at the same time. The owners? They're too busy making money and managing a network of stores to waste time trading family history with a customer who doesn't own a distributing company. Rubbish!

6. Participate in a diversity program.

I have already participated in diversity programs. They're referred to as undergraduate admissions. I didn't like them at all. On the other hand, if I could learn how to angle my family history and whatnot to take advantage of these programs (the ultimate sabotage!) I could probably live with them:

Me: "Yes, I'm the son of immigrants."
Admissions Officer: "Fantastic! You qualify for a full ride and nubile co-eds on the weekends. If you don't mind my asking, when did your family arrive?"
Me: "The '60s."
AO: "That was such an awful time."
Me: "Yeah, I bet my family wasn't big on the war either. But, we got our first look at a man who would be President during that war."
AO: "You're referring to Senator Kerry, of course! This is so wonderful..."
Me: "Er, in truth, I was referring to George Washington. Bloody French and Indian War."
AO: "I thought you said your family arrived here in the '60s."
Me: "They did. Oh, you were thinking of the 1960s. Sorry about that"

7. Ask a person of another cultural heritage to teach you how to perform a traditional dance or cook a traditional meal.

Charlie don't surf and the Country Pundit doesn't dance, unless it's that Celtic stuff he saw at a festival once, which seemed pretty simple. I don't do foreign food, either.

8. Learn sign language.

This teaches tolerance how? Unless I'm trying to pick up Marlee Matlin, I doubt I'd have any use for it. If I've got something to say to a deaf man, I'll write it out so as not to waste his time.

9. Take a conversation course in another language that is spoken in your community.

Luckily, I can just watch re-runs of Hee-Haw in order to understand the other languages spoken in my community. Thank God for that! (Admittedly, folks from south of the American border are starting to crop up in my hometown, so this might actually be something to do in order to have a wider business clientele.)

10. Teach an adult to read.

How this teaches respect for diversity and tolerance is beyond me. Although adult literacy is a worthy goal, I would suggest that teaching them to read as a method of 'tolerance' is counter-intuitive. Isn't it intolerant to go and say, "Look you, you can't read and I won't stand for it. Change now!" Of course, if you're like me and have no time for this tolerance crap, you'd support adult literacy as a way to help make a man (or a woman) a self-sufficient member of the society and therefore pull his or her weight.

11. Speak up when you hear slurs. Let people know that bias speech is always unacceptable.

Yeah, that's real tolerant. "I won't stand for the way you talk! It's unacceptable!" I thought the point of this message was teaching tolerance and acceptance. Oops, must've missed the definitions memo or something.

12. Imagine what your life might be like if you were a person of another race, gender or sexual orientation. How might "today" have been different?

Just to be snide, I'll throw this out there: There's only one race, the human race. Anything else is a false socio-political construct, used most recently by craven individuals to justify one ridiculous program or another. Had I been a woman today, I'd probably be just like I am now---a somewhat jaded and cynical type who doesn't have a lot of time for pop culture pretties that get by on looks and glitz. I'd also be able to file sexual harrassment charges, which would be pretty cool.

If I were of a different sexual orientation, I'd have it pretty good here in America for the time being. The news media and many cultural elites in this country would do their best to worship me and hold me up as the ultimate in humanistic development. I'd be able to scream "INTOLERANT!" at anyone who disagreed with me on anything.

Alas, I'll just have to muck through life as a normal man. Darn.

13. Take the How Tolerant are You? A Test of Hidden Bias[citation omitted]. Enlist some friends to take this "hidden bias" test with you and discuss the results.

Took it, flunked it, laughed about it. Forgot about it.

14. Take a Civil Rights history vacation. Tour key sites and museums.

I've actually done this. I've been to key points of our history in Boston, been to Fort Sumter, visited a gun show (more on this later) and I've been to see various military museums, along with Richmond and Washington, D.C. Thoroughly recommended!

15. Research your family history. Share information about your heritage in talks with others.

I'm really certain that anyone else cares about the history of my family. If they want to know, they'll ask.

16. List all the stereotypes you can — positive and negative — about a particular group. Are these stereotypes reflected in your actions?

Mine eyes glaze over...

If you're still reading this, go watch The Barbershop and feel good.

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The New Carrier

Hrrm. I don't know how old this is, but CVN 77 will be the George H.W. Bush. This comes from the January 2004 Combat Aircraft: The International Journal of Combat Aviation, a magazine published in Britain.

The keel for CVN 77 was laid at Northrop Grumman's Newport News, Virginia shipyard on 06 September 2003.

The former President may have been a naval aviator, but I wouldn't have named a carrier for him at this point. He's still alive, for pete's sake. Enh. It's not like I have influence over naming policy, but I would have preferred they name CVN 77 after one of the WWII carriers. (Admittedly, you'd have to steal from the Ticonderoga-class missile cruisers if you weren't careful, but they're supposed to be named after cities anyways...)

Sigh.

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The Way Things Ought to Be

To give you folks a break from the torrent of CNN articles I'm linking to tonight, here's something that's military in nature. Greyhawk of The Mudville Gazette is doing yeoman service in keeping the fire on LT J.F. Kerry, USN (ret.) and for that I'm grateful. I'd like to see someone beat that Massachusetts Merovingian with a clue-by-four, so Greyhawk is performing a useful service.

At the same time, he brings us some news of some nitwit soldier in Germany. I have nothing to say about the case, because I know absolutely nothing about the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which is the system servicemen such as this would be tried under. (At least you're honest. You don't even know anything about the Federal Rules of Evidence or of Civil Procedure, either. --Ed.)

What got my attention was a post in the comments by a fellow named Sharps Shooter:

On the other hand, I had a BIG problem with hard liquor as a 19-20 year-old in Korea, on an island.

So bad that I was singled out -with maybe 5 others- for a short, blunt talk with our CO. Scared sh-tless, I stood at attention while he asked,
"Specialist, you make $265 per month, is that correct?" (Yes, Sir!)
"And club record show you've been drinking more than $220 of that every month, is that correct?"
(.....Sir, yes, Sir.)
"Do you have a problem, Specialist?" (..Yes, Sir.)
"Are you getting rid of this problem, Specialist?"
(Yes, Sir.)
Quietly, then, he asked, "Do you need any help, Son?" And I responded that I would deal with it, immediately.

I never drank again. If I can do it, Glick can do it. I've been dry for 36 years now.

I'm no expert on how one manages a military, but the CO's manner earned an involuntary nod, one affirming it as "the way things ought to be". Give a stern on-the-record admonishment, and then offer support if it's desired/needed. For some reason, I like that. Congratulations to Sharps Shooter for beating the bottle for 36 years running.

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Big Beer Is Watching You

While scanning the pages of CNN.com, I found this: 66,207,896 bottles of beer on the wall.

It seems that Anheuser-Busch (proud sponsor of the NASCAR Busch Grand National Series) has been doing its homework in order to increase its market share and understand its customer base.

What they're doing is pretty impressive: If I were to buy a six-pack of Budweiser, the BudNet (stop laughing) would know what I paid, when it was brewed (i.e. 'Born-on Dating'), and whether it was warm or cold. The article points out that Anheuser quickly knows when it loses shelf space (a key component of grocery marketing) and can react accordingly. They also keep track of their competitors in terms of display location, type, and overall number of displays.

This is all well and good and aren't we Mr. McNamara with our numbers; hooray for PERT and TQM and all that, but here's why I (or someone who was a stockholder) care: Anheuser has posted double-digit profit gains for 20 straight quarters since the inception of this effor back in 1997. CNN notes that Coors and Miller have not matched this, so if you're a stockholder of them, either sell and buy Anheuser or figure out a way to get the boards of the two other retailers to intervene and pick management that will do something like this.

As an amateur interested in marketing techniques and management, I'm impressed at the technical prowess demonstrated in creating the BudNet. Likewise, I'm quite impressed with the ability of Anheuser to actually collate the raw data into a useful statistical product. Ain't technology grand?

There's just one thing that bugs me: Today it's the only major brewer to rely heavily on data from Information Resources Inc. -- which tracks every bar-coded product swiped at checkout and performs Nielsen-style consumer surveys -- and to conduct its own monthly surveys to see what beer drinkers buy and why.

I am distinctly concerned about there being a firm which exists to keep track of everything that's bought at a store and scanned on bar code scanners. I don't know why I'm concerned, but I'm rather leery of databases like that being about. Enh. Perhaps I'm paranoid, or else the creepy lotion smell emanating from the next carrel over is affecting my thought process.

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"I Know Rumsfeld..."

This is several days if not weeks behind the news cycle, but it's cool enough to warrant me posting here. The grounds for this exception are my interest in Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld, and things related to his out-of-the-ordinary way of doing things.

I'd hate to work for him, but I'd like to have him working for me.

Anyways, from POE News, The Rumsfeld Fighting Technique.

Your humble correspondent is known to use the White Axe Hand and the Crouching Tiger, while learning the Quacking Duck Hand.

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The Gray Album

Something's come up in the world of Internet music access, and I figured I'd put my shallow & superficial take on it. CNN reported this story, and it's solely upon the basis of their facts that I write.

Brian Burton, an English disk jockey D/B/A DJ Danger Mouse¹ , has released a remix that somehow meshes together The White Album by those lads from Liverpool (Get back on the 707! Go back!) with The Black Album by a performer named Jay-Z.

I don't know exactly how they did this and I haven't heard the album, but ostensibly there was some studio magic involved. Despite the fact that I took intellectual property a couple of semesters back , I'm not entirely sure how this gets analyzed. I've got a vague notion of the fair use defense and I'm also harboring a thought that DJ DM could argue satire or parody.

The first case I can automatically think of is Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994). In this case, Acuff-Rose sued Luther Campbell and the 2 Live Crew over the latter's remake of Roy Orbison's hit "Oh, Pretty Woman". The Court held that 2 Live Crew had a fair use defense because their version was a parody of Orbison's original. That the 2 Live Crew song was also for commercial purposes, although a factor, was not in and of itself conclusory. The case was subsequently remanded, but to what end I don't know---and it's not ultimately important.

Justice Kennedy, in his concurrence, seems to have put a series of nails in DJ DM's case by saying, "As future courts apply our fair use analysis, they must take care to ensure that not just any commercial takeoff is rationalized post hoc as a parody." This fellow hasn't apparently said anything about parody or satire, so he may be up the creek when it comes to a post hoc rationalization scenario.

If I were DJ DM's counsel in an American court, I'd try to note the non-commercial nature of the item. However, DJ DM made the mistake of selling these items himself to record stores, and that's going to be hard to get around. Something else I'd at least try is to argue that the two weeks spent on the remix, taken in conjunction with what it takes to do one of those, plus DM's own special applications of his skills as displayed in meshing the two albums with his own signature style (if he's got one) would constitute significant transformative use, such that a new item had been created.

In the event that I get wind of any developments in this case, I'll probably throw them up here; I'm actually kind of interested to see how this will turn out. It is heartening to see that Jay-Z's management didn't seem to care about the fact that one of their people was used in this manner.

_____

¹ You've got to love a guy who steals his nickname from Danger Mouse, a fine Cosgrove-Hall production and brought to Americans by Nickelodeon back when Nickelodeon mattered. To this day, I occasionally trot out Penfold's "Crumbs!" when something goes wrong, and I can readily hear the voice of the narrator intoning "LONDON" as we pan over a cityscape. It's said with the utter finality of a pronouncement from God, and you've just got to love it.

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Friday Five 13 February 2004

Uh, this isn't the blog entry you're looking for. There was collateral damage in the war on spam.

1. Are you superstitious?

Yes.

2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?

I...er...don't recall, Senator.

3. Believer or not, what's your favorite superstition?

Standardized repetition of pre-event procedure, whether it be pre-race or pre-test, or pre-speech.

4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?

Yep. In high school cross-country/track and in college cross-country, I had a lucky necklace that I almost always had stashed on me somewhere. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It was there for all the victories, be they on the course, on the track, or on the road.

5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

No, I don't. Too easy to inject a lot of pagan hoo-ha into it. I also have this vague memory of the witch at Endor or something, and bad things happening as a result.

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I Wish I Was in Dixie

Over at Free Market Fairy Tales, Mr Free Market has posted the results of his answers to the Yankee or Dixie? quiz.

Your humble correspondent, being interested in his accent, took it. The answer?

81% (Dixie). Did you have any Confederate ancestors?

Yes, I did. Both sides of my family served Virginia during the war, and the ones that I know of survived. I don't know if we had anyone who fought for the Federals, though. Hee hee.

Tip of my J.E.B. Stuart plumed hat to Mr Free Market.

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Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?

YOU ARE RULE 11!

You were designed to make sure that attorneys in
federal cases make reasonable inquiries into
fact or law before submitting pleadings,
motions, or other papers. You were a real
hardass in 1983, when you snuffed out all legal
creativity from federal proceedings and
embarassed well-meaning but overzealous
attorneys. You loosened up a bit in 1993, when
you began allowing plaintiffs to make
allegations in their complaints that are likely
to have evidenciary support after discovery,
and when you allowed a 21 day period for the
erring attorney to withdraw the errant motion.
Sure, you keep everything running on the up and
up, but it's clear that things would be a lot
more fun without you around.


Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tip of the Wisconsin hat to Jed at Boots and Sabers.

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Bravo, Mr. Bush

No link, but it appears that Bill Pryor will be taking the bench after all, due to a recess appointment. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Patrick Leahy.

It's this kind of bare-knuckled sledgehammery that makes me think I might want to donate to the President's re-election effort. Keep this up, and I might overlook certain other failures to be conservative.

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The Subway 400 at the North Carolina Speedway

Three points:

1. Bugger, Matt Kenseth won. !@#$
2. Hee hee, Dale Jarrett blew his engine. That's the Roush-Yates axis for you.
3. Ward Burton did OK, garnering a top-10 finish. With that team, it's probably as good as a win. Same can't be said for Chevrolets in general or my other favorites in particular.

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When I Grow Up...

I want to be mayor of San Francisco! That means I can ignore the duly passed and signed laws of my State and do whatever I feel like doing. This would be cool, to quote Butt-head.

A sample proclamation from Mayor C. Pundit:

"I find that this needless assault weapons ban denies equal protection to all citizens of San Francisco. Therefore, I repeal the ban and will begin the immediate handing out of AK-47s and their derivatives to all residents of the city and whoever else drives in to get one. Ammunition will also be provided for a nominal fee. We are for equality and justice in San Francisco, and it is my job to see it done. Oath of office? What's that?"

It goes without saying that I oppose the very idea of homosexual 'partnerships' being granted the sanction of the state through a ceremony of marriage. I'm also dead set against these civil unions as well. I am not persuaded by whiny arguments about love and commitment. Just because you "love" something doesn't mean that I, or the state, have to extend approval to your emotion.

The state gets to make a choice here and it has done so. It could have chosen to endorse these sorts of things, but has not. I don't see the state (as opposed to the State, which would be California) as being required to endorse either marriage or homosexual alliance. I would further posit that simply because it has chosen to endorse one does not lend support to the proposition that it must also endorse the other.

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Friday Five 20 February 2004

When was the last time you...

1. ...went to the doctor?

Er, some time late last year to get some antibiotics, I think.

2. ...went to the dentist?

December for the regularly-scheduled six month checkup.

3. ...filled your gas tank?

That would have been Sunday, for the long-range commute.

4. ...got enough sleep?

Last weekend. Beds are good things. Humans are meant to sleep; that's why our eyes close.

5. ...backed up your computer?

At some point in the past. I'm not entirely sure when.

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Thou Hast Been Weighed and Found Wanting

So there's a bit of buzz on the 'net about some new-ish blog named "Wonkette". Having gone there and read it, I'm not impressed. Billed as "a guide to DC politics and culture", it reads as if it's some sort of gossip rag or Tina Brown-esque puff piece.

Enh. And yet it is popular.

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Dean Drops Out

Governor Howard Dean of Vermont has seen fit to end his quest for the Presidency after failing to win anywhere. Well, I suppose I got what I wanted at some level, but ugh. That leaves things to the real-world equivalent of the Merovingian or to the smiling son of the South to be the Democratic nominee, and I'm not entirely comfortable as a Republican knowing that.

Kerry/Edwards might just be a viable ticket to knock the President from office, and that's not what we want. Bother!

See the PBS story if you're really interested in this.

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Much Thanks to Comrade Commissar

It seems that the Politburo, realizing its oversight in not naming your humble correspondent to the DEMCOM Deck of Dangerous Bloggers, has seen fit to award Kountrypundsk with the following:

-Mention in The Bloggers' Bestiary as one of the Commissar's favorite blogs.

Thank you, Comrade Commissar! The Party and people of Kountrypundsk appreciate the munificence of the Central Committee and look forward to the fraternal blogospherist revolution. Someone schedule a spontaneous mass outpouring of thanksgiving and have a parade.

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New NS SD60s

A fellow named Brandon Lee has released several GM Electro-Motive Division SD60 units in Norfolk Southern livery over at train-sim.com recently. I haven't the foggiest as to what the NS uses them for, but I'll be downloading them nonetheless and investigating.

Yay.

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!@#$

Dale Earnhardt, Jr., won the Daytona 500. Blast it, Biggs! Enh. At least it wasn't a Ford. Those blue-oval bozos had me worried there for a while, but the bowtie triumphs. Heh heh heh. I still don't like him on his own merits. If he'd grow a mustache and act like his father instead of a third-rate hip-hop type, I'd like him a lot more.

I'm pleasantly amused at the fate of the Roush-Yates engine alliance's products. Take that, Cat in the Hat.

Final shot: As far as I'm concerned, it always has and always will be Winston Cup.

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