December 30, 2007

Speaking of the Pats

Someone at the Wikipedia is a sore loser:

Ha ha ha. It's been reverted, and I'd name the individual responsible for the vandalism if I was more certain of how to manipulate the revision history tool. In the meantime, woo hoo.

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December 29, 2007

Yee Haw

Congratulations to Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the rest of the New England Patriots organization.

Thanks for playing, Eli.

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December 03, 2007

OTB's 2008 Season Wishlist Response

(Note the lazy minimalist title of this post. We at TCP are very avant garde.)

So, Aaress over at On the Baseline has assembled a wish list for the coming WTA campaign. I'm nowhere near as well informed on the subject of tennis and will probably look amateurish, but I figured I'd compile something anyways:

1. A muzzle or something for Maria Sharapova. Seriously. I hold out faint hope that someone, somewhere, will lose it and scream something on the order of, "SHUT UP", with a few choice expletives thrown in for regional flavor.

One is sorely tempted to take that annoying dog/feather duster/whatever from the Canon PowerShot commercials and stuff it in her mouth. When one actively thinks about playing Virtua Tennis 3 on mute due to facing Sharapova in an upcoming match, well, there's a problem. And it's not me.

Bud Collins, not surprisingly, says it better.

2. The Third Coming of Martina Hingis. I can't say that I've ever sincerely cheered for the Swiss Miss on her own merit, but if memory serves, she was an original thorn-in-the-side of the Williams sisters. That's got to be worth something, and she's not a bipedal artillery piece. Besides, she makes me laugh. Perhaps some sort of exhibition schedule, assuming anyone would play with her.

3. Best wishes for Lindsay Davenport. I don't know if that's going to work out, and I'm not betting the farm, or any other property, real or personal, on the subject.

4. A return to form for Mary Pierce. This is an even longer shot than Lindsay Davenport, but hey, it's a wish list for a reason.

The last two don't relate exactly to the WTA tour, but are relevant nonetheless:

5. Top Spin 3. With a mode for rank amateurs, like me. I need the AI to have a setting equivalent to "Slack-Jawed Moron", and then perhaps I will enjoy the game. That, and have a chance to last beyond a first-round appearance in any tournament. (Yes, I'm awful at that game.)

EDIT: And by the way, how about on-the-fly character editing? EA figured it out for Tiger Woods '07, so you can too. Neither of the current generation games seem to allow for this, and it's annoying.

6. The Clean Air Fairy to visit Beijing and clean that stinking hole up so that a certain Belgian (assuming she's not a Wallonian or a Frenchwoman by that point; see Brussels Journal for more details) can defend her Olympic title.

---

So yeah, as you can see, I got nothing.

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September 18, 2007

The Russian Question

On The Baseline asks, "Should [Russian tennis authorities] choose the superstar who has never bothered to play for her country in a team competition, or rely on the hardworking players who have supported their nation [and won the 2007 Fed Cup for Russia] for their entire careers?"

The superstar in question is Maria Sharapova, who needs neither introduction nor link. The "hardworking players" are, severally, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Anna Chakvetadze, Nadia Petrova, and Elena Vesnina.

I'm neither Russian nor an authority on tennis, but my gut reaction is to bench Miss Sharapova in favor of the others. Certainly, she brings a lot of glitz, glamour, and sex appeal to any Russian Olympic team. You could almost bet on NBC's cameras being quite interested in covering the Russian team, and there would be a fair amount of publicity for Maria Sharapova with special guests the Russian Olympic contingent.

Therein lies the problem: Do the Russian authorities want to have someone on the team that's focused on the Nike pre-match press conference to announce a new Olympic design for her on-court attire, or do you want someone who'll probably be more obscure than not when preparing for the match?

Maria Sharapova is probably a better choice than Elena Vesnina from a purely statistical standpoint. But that depends upon Sharapova being healthy and Sharapova being focused, and I think it's fair to ask if she will be. Manny can be Manny, but world-class tennis seems to be a lot more capricious, and the talent a lot closer, so letting "Maria be Maria" could be a bad thing.

Another factor I consider relevant is the correlation of talent vis-a-vis Sharapova and the others. Benching the former is not like benching Wayne Gretzky circa 1986 in favor of some guy brought up from the WHA because he's a drinking buddy of someone in the front office. An argument can perhaps be made that Vesnina should be benched for competitive purposes, but Kuznetsova is currently world #2, Chakvetadze #5, and Petrova #8. That ain't nothing to sneeze at.

This question may be related to the situation the United States had to and has to ask each time it assembles a mens' basketball team. In 1992, we wanted to win, and assembled the Dream Team. We had capable, competent players who worked together as a team, and we annihilated the other national teams. In later years, it seems, we've gone for the glitzy picks (Hello, Allen Iverson!) and well, to put it bluntly, we've lost. At some level, you want competent and dedicated men (or women, whichever) who don't lose focus on why they're there, which is the earning of a gold medal.

This is not to equate women's tennis with men's basketball, because they're different sports, but rather to illustrate the foregoing principle. The Russian national authorities should pick the women who have gone to bat (or the baseline, as it were) for their country. In a competition where national pride is inextricably intertwined with personal achievement, a lesser player who comes out on the court with fire in her blood may be more valuable to the national reputation than a fragile glamour queen, no matter how good-looking and possibly good the latter may be.

---

-This is all academic anyways; if all goes well, that 2008 women's singles gold medal is going in Belgium's column, assuming there still is a Belgium at that point.

-Am I being hard on Maria Sharapova? Sure, I am. I'm trying to be objective about her, and that may yield unpleasant results. A snide thought occurred to me as I wrote this: "Well, a fragile Sharapova versus an undercompetitive Vesnina? Either way, the slot might be a loss, so one might as well go with the patriotic one."

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September 10, 2007

2007 US Open Remarks

Just a few brief notes from watching the results of the women's US Open in New York:

-Dear Maria Sharapova: If you hold press conferences to announce what you'll be wearing in the tournament, it is advisable to stay in the tournament for a little more than you did. You're a fetching lass and enjoyable to watch, so long as the sound is off, and I wouldn't mind you staying in a given event longer than you seem to do. It might help to be mindful of Bud Collins' criticism about variety in your game.

-Congratulations to Justin Henna. Or whatever it was that the CBS team kept calling Justine Henin. Last time I heard it pronounced by a French speaker who may very well have been her, it was "Zhoo-steen En-een", but I don't suppose you can tell that to the chaps in the broadcast booth.

Miss Kuznetsova looked totally outmatched against Miss Henin, sort of like I am against anyone with the slightest clue of what they're doing on the tennis court. It appears that, based upon her performance in the Open, Miss Henin decided early on that she was going to win and simply stuck to the plan. It's a far better result than her outing against Marion Bartoli, who thankfully went home after facing Serena Williams.

Congratulations, Justine. Glad to see you winning.

-Ha ha to the Williams sisters. Better luck next time!

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July 15, 2007

Beckham & DiMaggio, Two of a Kind?

Some soccer fan writes in to the Corner, arguing that the arrival of English soccer player David Beckham in Los Angeles is significant. The writer submits to us the following in their analysis of Mr. Beckham's celebrity status:

Yes, much of the hype is due to Beckham being married to a pop singer, but as a Yankees fan, I ask, would the DiMaggio legend be as large if he had married a nice young girl from Nebraska instead of Marilyn Monroe?

I hate the Yankees like any good Red Sox fan, but I think it's objectively demonstrable that Mr. DiMaggio didn't need Marilyn Monroe to complement his legend. The man's prowess on the baseball field transcends whoever he happened to have married---the legend of Joltin' Joe, at least in my mind, exists independent of the Kennedy concubine.

Call me old-fashioned.

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February 18, 2007

2007 Daytona 500 Pre-Race

Augh, kill me now. Kelly Clarkson is ugly, tubby, and annoying. She is also devoid of musical talent in my opinion and contrary to the opinion of the voting public for Fox's talent search.

I'm reasonably certain that Formula 1 doesn't waste time with such worthless displays of "entertainment". I'd be interested in finding out how Speed manages to avoid this problem; perhaps because the F1 broadcasts are an FIA world feed.

I wonder what the cost of a ticket would be if I just wanted a seat to watch the racing, and not any of the other garbage that keeps getting added on to a NASCAR Nextel Cup race. It is a race; the attraction of a race is enough in and of itself---men and machines pitting themselves and their strategies against each other. If you need more than that to enjoy the race, then go home and watch the NBA.

Oh, and I absolutely hate the Chevrolet Presidents' Day ads. Hip-hop renditions of "Ruffles & Flourishes" should be banned.

EDIT: The only way that the command to start engines should be given is as if you were Michael Ironside in Top Gun. Mr. Cage, you fail miserably.

EDIT: The Chevrolet railroad commercial fails. That being said, I'm glad that someone's giving a nod to our railroad industry. Too bad GM sold off its Electro-Motive Division, so they don't actually make diesel-electric locomotives anymore.

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February 10, 2007

A Brief Observation WRT NASCAR

I have the Busch Clash Budweiser Shootout, and I just heard something annoying: Toyota are running commercials announcing "thanks for having us" as part of their introduction into the NASCAR Nextel Cup competition.

Funny, I don't remember Toyota asking me if I wanted them in the Nextel Cup championship.

My answer would have been an emphatic 'no'.

EDIT: The highlight of the evening was the return of Krista Voda to covering NASCAR. I haven't watched NASCAR Nation (is it even still on?) since her departure for whatever reason, but I've ranted on that before.

If we are going to have women covering traditionally male sports, then they might as well be competent. Competency, thy name is Voda.1

NB: SO SORRY, TOYOTA!

---

1 For the only known image gallery of Miss Voda, click here. She always was and always will be superior to Leeann Tweeden et al in motorsports journalism skill and other areas as well.

A January entry at Open Wheeler discusses Miss Voda's return to NASCAR Nextel Cup coverage, and is illustrated to boot. The lucky devil got to talk to her!

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February 05, 2007

The Super Bowl

Meh, it must have been utter misery to play in that game. How much did it rain?

The only problem with it is that somewhere, someone will say that Manning, like his lesser predecessor who only died for humanity's sins and did not win a Super Bowl, walked on water.

-Indianapolis should have made 'Sexy Rexy' the MVP. (Statistics aside, I'd almost suggest that he scored more for Indianapolis than Peyton Manning did.) I was shouting at the television by the end of it, much to the delight of my pro-Colts friends.

-Hooray for Thomas Jones; a good ol' boy from the Western District does well. I am always pleased when he does well. All reports indicate that he is a good man and is a credit to his family. This is a good thing.

-The commercials were eminently forgettable. I'm having a hard time recalling any of them.

-Meh, Prince. I think I made popcorn during the halftime show. That being said, I think I would have been eager to weasel out of that performance if I'd been him; I'm not eager to hold an electric guitar during a downpour like that.

-I am officially on hiatus from the NFL for the time being. My interest will resume when various outlets report that the furor of canonization for Saint Peyton has abated somewhat.

Spring Training cannot come soon enough. Pitchers, report!

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January 21, 2007

Football Musings

To quote Galvatron:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I'm sure anyone who heard my anguished cry when Brady was picked off at the end would have laughed. Bah, I hate the Colts. Our path is clear: The Bears must do what Brady and Belichick could not, the vanquishing of the hated Manning.

I had hoped to see the vengeance of Foxboro visited upon the Bears for the 1985 rout, but alas, it was not to be.

"Like it or not, we are allies now against a common foe."

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January 20, 2007

A Light Joke

Overheard recently:

Q. Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A. So they can go hunting on Friday, to the football game on Saturday, and report back to jail on Sunday.

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January 18, 2007

A Kossack's Attack on the NFL

I don't normally bother with The Daily Kos. As Liz Phair said, "I've got better ways to spend my time". Nevertheless, an entry posted by some sad chap over there has caught my attention: Man fuel: Is it in you?

The author, one Jason Miller, derides the National Football League thusly:

What could better reflect the collective psychosis of the American Empire than our mass obsession with the NFL? Born through violent revolution, expanded by genocide, enriched by slavery, and elevated to hegemony through imperialism, militarism, and economic tyranny, the United States, like NFL football, embodies avaricious savagery masked by a fastidiously maintained illusion of benevolent civility.

Wow. OK, eloquent language aside, this is either someone to laugh at or someone who Needs Help Now. I don't go in for the Man Hug thing---call me crazy, but Men Shouldn't Hug---but even my cold heart wants to simply pat this guy on the shoulder and tell him that, in the words of Deana Carter, "Everything's Gonna Be Alright".

Meh. People may write thousands of words against this chap, but really, is it necessary? I suppose it's more of that whole binary solution set that a lot of the Kos types seem to embrace, either you're out there at war in the streets for Social Justice Now! or somesuch, or you're part of the ancien regime defending against it, and must be smashed.

For my own part, I root for the Patriots. Have for years, even when Favre and the Packers were the darlings of Fox Sports and the nation. That doesn't mean that I'm somehow complicit in whatever goes on in the NFL. Like one guy's opinion---say, Tony Dungy got done wrong---matters, especially when that guy is me, and not Paul Tagliabue or the like. Not that I particularly care for some of the corporate end of things in the NFL. If Al Davis or Jerry Jones were drowning, Christian charity would require me to try and save them. I would, however, be less inclined to do so if I knew who they were. "Help me, I'm drowning!" "Hang on, sir!" "Help me, I'm Jerry Jones and I'm drowning!" "Sorry man, lunch break."

Enjoying a game of football does not an evil man make. I am perfectly capable of going from church, where I shell out money for the local and global Methodist relief efforts, to sitting on a couch and cheering for the Pats. Life is more complicated and subtle than this chap might appreciate it.

This post found from Soxaholix

---

To rebut another point this guy makes ("Provocatively undressed cheerleaders manifesting our cultureÂ’s ideal of feminine perfection...."), I say this: My idea of feminine perfection ain't an NFL cheerleader; don't know what he's ingesting. I'd rather that they weren't in the league, but it does provide a legal source of revenue for some women, so I won't get too bothered about it.


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January 16, 2007

Vintage Earl Weaver

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Earl Weaver.

Due to explicit content, Mr. Weaver's discussion with AL umpire Bill Haller is placed below the fold. Be advised, this little gem contains numerous profanities and is not work safe. This movie comes to us courtesy of the Soxaholix. more...

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January 14, 2007

Woo Hoo

The pretender to the throne of Lawrence Taylor was defeated and we are happy now, for the evil Chargers have been defeated while virtue and rightness ride high in the saddle.

Thank you, Tom Brady & Co.

Also: You're a loser, Tomlinson. As a commenter elsewhere wrote, enjoy Hawaii.

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January 13, 2007

Indianapolis versus Baltimore

Was this a football game, or did David Beckham hit the beach a little ahead of schedule? Seriously, I thought football was where you run the ball in, not kick it in. It matters not; New England shall annihilate the shallow pretender to the initials of "LT"---the True King is Lawrence Taylor---on their way to a Super Bowl championship.

If that cannot come about, then go Saints.

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January 11, 2007

In re Mark McGwire

Itappears that Mark McGwire has not been confirmed to Cooperstown. As an amateur fan of baseball, I am pleased.

I don't care if he hit a baseball into low Earth orbit. Likewise, I don't care if the McGwire-Sosa chase of Mantle & Maris reignited baseball for the masses during the late 1990s. If he was on the juice, he doesn't belong in the hall, period.

That is, unless space is made on his plaque for his chemist.

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January 08, 2007

Oh, Nothing

Goooooooooooooooo Gators! Take that, you Yankee slime!

That is all.

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October 11, 2006

Cory Lidle, RIP

I hope this isn't true, but CNN and others have run with it:

Yankees pitcher's plane crashes into Manhattan high-rise

Cory Lidle, a late-season acquisition by the New York Yankees, is feared dead afte an aircraft registered to him crashed into a high-rise in Manhattan. The North American Aerospace Defense Command does not consider this crash to have terrorist implications.

As lifted from a station in Madison, Wisconsin:

Overall in 2006, Lidle was 12-10 with a 4.85 ERA in 31 games, including 30 starts. He had a career mark of 82-72 with a 4.57 ERA in nine big league seasons with the New York Mets, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Oakland Athletics, Toronto Blue Jays, Cincinnati Reds, Philadelphia and the Yankees.

My sympathies and prayers are extended to Mr. Lidle's family and those of any other passengers aboard the aircraft.

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October 09, 2006

A Belated Thank You

Bravo zulu, Detroit. You have officially earned the honor of bearing my post-season hopes.

Y'know, 'cause my team didn't bother to make the post-season. Thanks, Theo.

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February 10, 2006

There is no God but Lambeau and Lombardi is his Prophet

Another series of cartoon riots have erupted. This time, it's regional:

Follow the story here.

Tip of the Wisconsin hat to the Superintendent.

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