I always look upon the end-of-the-year holidays with a sense of dread. Why is this, you ask? It's simple, really. From mid-November to the first week of January, I'm usually gorging myself on really good food, and other ruinous behavior. Part of this problem is exemplified by three things:

1. Boiled custard. This rich drink---our replacement for egg nog, which is noxious---usually gets guzzled by the carton per day. It's that good, even though the formula got changed in the last two years, and it's runnier than usual. It's delicious, darned near impossible to wash off out of a glass after it's dried, and it's full of things that would make a health nut sick. I haven't spotted my brand in stores yet, but when I do, I'll be buying twenty or thirty dollars worth.

2. Cordial cherries. These little pockets of evil ought to be banned. Even now, I'm sitting here munching on some, and I've already eaten a third of a tray. Yes, I'll probably have horrible sugar-fueled nightmares (thanks to Raptorman for giving me the longest running subject matter for nightmares that I've ever had; even xenomorphs don't scare me as much as ravenous corpses.) That being said, at least I haven't found a cherry pit yet this year.

3. White chocolate Oreos. These things go great with boiled custard. They go great with themselves. I'm no fan of standard Oreos, and chocolate generally is a take it or leave it thing with me. On the other hand, I can eat a box of these things in a sitting. They're devilish little discs of arterial doom, but I, in the words of a penitent Theodore from one of the Chipmunks Christmas albums, "couldn't help it". Tee hee.

Yeah, so I'll probably have to like go on a starvation diet after 07 January, but that's OK. Food is fun.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 11:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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After the disappointing results of the 2000 post-election period (i.e. Alec Baldwin not leaving for another country) I had learned to discount the anguished protests of those who promised to leave if the evil George Bush was re-elected.

Well, it appears that I'm to be dumbfounded: Apparently, people are kind of taking it seriously, for once. According to CNN, Canadian immigration lawyer Rudi Kischer has set up canadianalternative.com as a way for disaffected liberals to learn about Our Neighbor to the North.

The entire article's worth reading, whether for rage or mirth, so head on over and check it out. To whet one's appetite, a brief recall of and commentary upon an excerpt:

Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:

1. Canada has universal public health care.

Yes, but you're living longer in Canada. Who would want to do that?

2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.

Canada barely has any troops in Canada, much anywhere else that Kofi Annan hasn't ordered them to. This is meaningful how?

3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.

Enjoy Third World economies with First World prices! Meanwhile, watch your manufacturing base high-tail it to the People's Republic of China. That is, if Canada had any manufacturing base other than Labatt's or Molson.

4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.

And I bet we've got designs on the ones that don't, so you'd best hurry up there.

5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.

Peh. Cheech & Chong shouldn't be allowed to replace Bob & Doug.

6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.

Terminate all you want! I'm sure the hedonists will make more.

7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.

And thus no protection from Trudeaupian government when HRH Pierre decides to send the troops into the streets to enforce the general will of the people, as divined---no pun intended---by him.

8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.

Considering that the UN lets genocide in Rwanda, child prostitution in Asia, and lots of other things slide, do you really want to trumpet their evaluation?

9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.

Yes friends, no ultimate responsibility for violent crime! Step right up and get your cushy life sentence for mass murder and bizarre criminal activity!

10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.

And hasn't had a serious blue water navy since the 1950s. For a two-ocean modern state, this is unforgivable.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 12:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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This publication notes, without sorrow, the death of Palestinian leader Yassir Arafat.

If I were the drinking sort, I would drink a toast to the people who, thanks to Arafat's policies of terror, never got the chance to die peacefully in bed surrounded by family. Since his death in a foreign hospital bed was the best possible scenario for his eventual departure and succession, perhaps now a permanent resolution to the Palestinian question may be undertaken.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 01:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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