Back during the last century, I used to joke that if I ever became a Roman Catholic, it would be because of the influence of John Paul II, not because of any other particular thing. (Admittedly, the elaborate beauty of Roman services and their churches made my modern-day Methodist drabbery look cheap and uninspired by comparison, but that's neither here nor there.¹) As the late pontiff's health declined, I remarked to a friend of mine from college that, "Well, the door is closing on any chance I ever had to be a Roman Catholic". This was because I was uneasy with essentially swearing allegiance to an elected man and would be agreed to take whatever line issued from Rome.

Having spent my entire life as a Protestant, ensconsced within the United Methodist Church, I was by breeding reflexively against that sort of thing. After all, I've been conditioned to consider myself, at some level, the final arbiter of my own theology. Arrogant? Probably, but it would seem to comport with essential points raised in Martin Luther's original complaints against the Roman church. But enough about that.

Here we are in April, 2005. John Paul is dead, and I thought that there could be no chance for any future personal merger with the Catholics. It appears that I might have been wrong. If this Joseph, Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany, gets the papal nod, the Roman church might buy itself another five to ten years of opportunity in my book. Many of yesterday's Corner postings about the chances of Cardinal Ratzinger becoming the next Pope piqued my interest and re-opened the question of Catholic merger.

Why is this? The collection of insults I've heard arrayed against him seem to be the right ones. "Intolerant!" "Divisive!" "Anti-choice!"¹ "Fails to recognize the role of women in the priesthood!" "Stands with hands on hips!" Well, that last one's more for Scott Bolton---thumbs meh to him---but you get the picture. The chattering class of single-interest groups that annoy the dickens out of me on mattters religious seem to despise Cardinal Ratzinger, and that's enough to toll the statute of limitations on the possibility of merging with the Romans.

Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice said before Dr. Gonzo mumbled something about the White Rabbit whilst in the bathtub waving a knife. Fans of Cardinal Ratzinger have assembled a website for him; view the Cardinal Ratzinger Fanclub. ¹ As the song goes, "A mighty fortress is our God", and I prefer my church building to reflect that. I've been to four Catholic churches in my lifetime. One was Saint Peter's in Rome, the second was Notre Dame in Paris, and two were local ones. Needless to say, the Romans are three for four in this "mighty fortress" competition. Most of the Methodist churches I've been to, including the one that I attend weekly, are bland pre-fab designs with an abundance of beige and inoffensive carpeting. Blast it, churches are supposed to be ominous fortifications against the reach of the other, one where tens of thousands of the faithful have tread and where one feels a sense of history, the weight of time gone by when you enter. Padded pews are optional unless you're a Methodist, but one should not think that one is in a television studio when one enters a sanctuary.

² Sweetheart, Cardinal Ratzinger probably favors what could be the ultimate question of choice, the free will of man in the affairs of Heaven; next to that, your wretched little complaint about the legitimization of infanticide is worthless.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 09:51 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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