I absolutely hate mornings, but make of it what one will. It appears that I missed something interesting by not getting up earlier and catching NBC's Campbell Brown helping out on the fringes of some cooking demonstration on the Today program. Felgercarb!

And away we go!

0900: Yay, "The National Broadcasting Company"; it's always nifty to hear full corporate names from another era. The only problem is that I'll be stuck with the dreadful duo of Couric & Lauer.

0902: Thirty-nine degrees in Herald Square, ick. When I watched Macy's back in the 1990s, I froze myself to death. Not only was the weather absolutely miserable in terms of temperature, but we must have found the international section, because I heard something like ten languages around me. The only problem with that was that none of them were English.

Mr. Robin Hall is annoying already, and the woman standing beside him looks like Harriet Miers. Of course, maybe I'm just not good at connecting to New York views of how to show enthusiasm.

0905: Ill-tempered rant about the presence of one named guest snipped out of consideration for audience interest. At least the sports entertainment crowd doesn't have anyone announced in this lineup; maybe Kristin Chenoweth will do a good song. Her popular music release from a few years back was pretty good, although she annoyed in Bewitched. Hmm.

0910: Gah, Sprint ads have gotten very bad. Yay, massive train station in Europe. Meanwhile, I just can't get excited about the National Dog Show, although I understand that people watch it. Little children die when Katie Couric opens her mouth.

0913: Rainn Wilson looks like John Lithgow's Blake Edwards in The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. I'm not sure that's a compliment. Let's see how many NBC television programs we can hawk, Roker.

Ooh, here we go with Christina Applegate. I wasn't in Herald Square when I saw the thing, so I've never actually seen these little dance numbers. On second thought, I think I liked Miss Applegate in something else better.

0918: Hmm, stage makeup always makes one look really weird, and that must be the final verdict on Miss Applegate. Hooray, someone with a Washington Nationals hat. Do I really need commercials for food, gambling, and dancing to convince me to go to Puerto Rico? (Admittedly, the only way I'd go to Puerto Rico is on a junket to waste public money, but...)

Expect something extra from CVS? How about lower service? Bah, Sheryl Crow in the NBC Christmas concert. Her last album stunk, so I don't think I'll be tuning in. On the other hand, it might be interesting to see who's got more makeup on in an attempt to cover up age, Rod Stewart or her. Ha ha.

Blah, daytime soap opera stars waste my time.

0923: Ooh, maids. The problem with the Broadway singing style is that every singer sounds alike, or at least alike enough to fool my ears. (We're never going to assign you to Brookhiser's seat or anything near the city desk. ---Ed.) One would think that Dirty Rotten Scoundrel would refer to George Steinbrenner.

0931: Well, finally someone to tell us some more things about the city itself. Thanks to Amy Grant for being useful, unlike Couric & Lauer. Nice off-camera snow gun. I don't think it's a coincidence that Couric is wearing some sort of hat that probably wouldn't have been out of place on the late Raisa Gorbachev. Bloody little hack journalist.

Meanwhile, the gal in the red-and white from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is pleasant to watch and listen to. I don't remember the movie being an economic or critical overperformer, but maybe I'm wrong. Ouch, just watching people do bell kicks causes pain. I'm afraid of the human on the left of the yellow-vested man. That had better be a woman in greasepaint or something.

0938: Brad Paisley versus Kermit the Frog in dueling banjos. I...I have nothing to say. Oh, Couric, you urban sophisticate, "CPW" for "Central Park West". I am nothing before your brilliant acronyms. My God, Adrien Brody is a human woodpecker. Hmm, NASA rocket in the background. Recreating New York ought to be interesting, especially if they put something from the New York Central or Pennsylvania Railroad. A New Haven I-5 on The Merchants Limited might not be out of place, either...

I'd rather ride on a ship of the Cunard or White Star lines than on Royal Carribean's Freedom of the Seas. You don't surf on something that wants to win the Blue Riband.

0943: "We're Sunnnnnnnncom, and we-get-it." Harry Connick, Jr., has been a favorite since I saw him in The Memphis Belle whenever that came out. Yee haw.

0944: The Jersey Boys makes me think of someone from the Central Railroad of New Jersey, but these guys probably haven't seen a CNJ train in their life. (Neither have you.---Ed.) I heard a little something about this one on NPR a few weeks back, I think; I'd rather these sorts of things succeed as opposed to Rent or Angels in America. After all, giving the odious Tony Kushner a red smear in the ledger book is a worthy goal.

Walk like a man, eh? Not with a voice like that.

0955: Yay, the Rockettes. Crawling on sunshine? Give me Katrina and the Waves, not this ersatz arrangement. Ack, pfftbt, or whatever, due to M.C. Hammer outtakes for hand sanitizer ads. Nexium ad! It fixes acid reflux, but it might just wreck everything else in your GI system. Visit purplepill.com and nag the licensed professional who knows more than you to prescribe it!

0959: Yay, Harriet Miers is back on screen. At least Lauer sounds like he's trying, while Couric ought to be nicknamed 'The Phonewoman', 'cause she sounds like she's phoning it in.

1000: Hooray for high school bands. They often keep high school football interesting, especially when they get snide in their song choice.

1003: Hmm, Scooby-Doo. I used to watch a lot of that when I was a kid. It is, however, interesting to know that the Scooby-Doo series have made it into the Guinness book of records. One wonders if they're counting The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo in that run.

1008: Rita Coolidge sings for us. Yay? We last heard from her in the 1983 James Bond movie, Octopussy. Bloody Big Bird; the Children's Television Workshop ought to pay a dividend to the Federal government so we can reduce taxation elsewhere. I'd still like to know why the CPB and PBS don't get the profits from Sesame Street and Barney. There's probably a very good reason for it, but all the more reason to complain. It would be nice to avoid the regular PBS fund drives, after all.

1011: Tommy Tune lives? Amazing. Ooh, European train station in the Nikon D50 ad. Yee haw. Have them boarding a TGV Atlantique or something. I hate OnStar ads. If I buy a new GM car, I'll impose a requirement that any such on-board system be ripped out. Hmm, self-propelled weebles. Interesting.

1015: This is amusing trying to hear Couric stumbling over whatever it is; J-pop is....ach. Puffy AmiYumi. Er, right. Give me some Cibo Matto if you must, but this is more than I can stomach. That guy with the guitar looks like he's really happy. Ugh, that purple dinosaur.

1028: Eatin' time. Service will resume when the foodstores are depleted.

1038: We're back, and "Mr. DJ" girl can kindly move along. I'm not particularly concerned where she's from, and ooh, Kristin Chenoweth coming up. Four feet eleven inches of good singing voice. Interesting, Walt Disney World is fifty. I haven't been there in years, so I don't know what's down there, but I heard they canned the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride, so fooey on Eisner.

1041: Note to Estee Lauder's ad people: Gwyneth Paltrow is not superior to Elizabeth Hurley. I saw the former in an ad while out last night, and I thought it was Sheryl Crow. (In case you're wondering, that's not a compliment.)

1044: I do think Rex Harrison makes a better Dr. Doolittle than Tommy Tune. Hmm, Chicken Little. That was an amusing picture, helped much by the presence of Joan Cusack, who I've liked since Grosse Pointe Blank and Toys. Everyone needs a Marcella, and I've known someone who's about as weird as Alsatia.

1047: Interesting how the Disney people got folks who resemble the animated character's they're portraying. Yay.

1057: Yay, it's Kristin Chenoweth! Whatta setta pipes on that gal. Precise diction and the like. We don't care about Oklahoma, but you're doing fine, Kristin.

1101: Hip hop>? Snore. Please go away. Likewise to the Telemundo types. 'The Click Five' can kindly move along now; I don't care. On the other hand, Hess gasoline is always good to see publicized.

1105: Enh, bilingual Latina adventurer. Snore; I could care less. Here's Natasha Bedingfield. Please go away. See the Statue of Liberty? Go past that and keep heading east. We'll have a place for you at Southampton or London Heathrow.

1110: Hooray, the NYPD and the FDNY. When I was in NYC for the parade, it was nifty to see those guys standing around in the heavy double-breasted jackets. It was like something out of an old movie, but you knew you were safe with those guys around. They were huge. (Of course, nothing surpasses the Virginia State Police for the impression of 'don't mess', so go figure.) Hmm, the obligatory Louisiana mentions. Well, I suppose that makes sense since the clobbering of the Gulf Coast is a very important story.

1115: Couric as queen of the pom-poms? Bah. I thought the cheerleader outfits said "NYP", which brought "New York Pennsylvania Station" to mind. Either I'm going back to sleep, or the parade is not as interesting.

1122: Bring back Mayor McCheese, you dirtbags! Tutenstein? Double-you-tee-eff. Rock and rule with a three thousand year old corpse? Er, no. Funny, shouldn't Egyptian dancers be, well, visually similar to Eygptians?

1124: Gah, Pikachu. An electric rat is about the last thing I need at this point. Where's my whiskey?

1129: Hmm, a Miss USA. Yay. This parade brough to you by the Potato Board. Give me a Darth Tater anyways. Couric, you're casually invited to kill the bad puns. Don't you have any editorial control?

1132: Aaron Neville, you're so cutting-edge for having a tattoo on your face. That's so cool. Maybe when I grow up, I can have one of those, too. And a beret, too!

1141: Brian Wilson is wearing a Yankees hat. Well, down with him. Frog or supermodel? Depends. If I want a phone call, I'll go with Kermit the Frog. If I want a wake-up nudge, I'll go with Carolyn Murphy. Sorry, Frog.

1144: Cheetah Girls? Uh, whatever.

1147: If I understand Couric correctly, the M&M balloon was not displayed live. Well, safety first. Pillsbury Doughboy, hooray. Carrie Underwood sings an eminently forgettable song. I can't say that it's a very good one.

1154: Hmm, The Polar Express. Any parade can be improved by the presence of a replica Nickel Plate Berkshire. Bah, losing signal can make you worried. Twice in the last minute, we've gone to blue screen. One worries when live events get hit by this; I'm reminded of a scene from the new Galactica wherein you see static on one side of a split screen, and someone being buffeted by the winds from an atomic detonation shortly before being caught in the blast themselves. (You've seen too many movies on nuclear war.---Ed.)

1157: Yay, Santa Claus. Thanks to Macy's, the National Broadcasting Corporation, and all the telecast sponsors for making this possible.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of y'all; I'll be back later in the week 'cause now it's time for an over-the-road trip to the relatives. Yee haw.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 08:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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