I was rolling on through the blogosphere when I had my Dantooine Road experience. I've found a new candidate for President in 2004, and this guy's not going to be susceptible to questions about his military service.

Courtesy of My Pet Jawa, I bring you my man for 2004: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith.

THE VADER RECORD

On Terror: When faced with a revolutionary bunch of terrorists from the upper class of society, Darth Vader didn't fall back and suggest that force wasn't a solution. Lord Vader stepped up to the plate and personally led efforts to stop a terrorist "Alliance" dedicated to overthrowing the government.

Everyone's seen the Alderaan example. George Bush invaded Afghanistan and Iraq, but he's rebuilding these terrorist havens. By comparison, Darth Vader obliterated Alderaan. There may be more Alderaanians in the future, but you can bet for darned sure that there won't be any more terrorists operating out of Alderaan. Lord Vader will spare no nation in his efforts to root out political extremists who strike against the government.

On Terrorists: When faced with a dangerous bunch of religious fanatics prone to suicidal attacks, Lord Vader personally led the campaign that exterminated the so-called Jedi Knights. He personally struck down an tall bearded fanatic who had led an impressionable youth away from the straight and narrow. Can George Bush say the same?

When the time came to get information from captured terrorists, Lord Vader didn't pass some un-Constitutional act that would be harped on for years. In the case of Captain Colton Antilles, he took the matter in hand, literally. There was no dithering about while consulting lawyers to see if he could get the information necessary to guarantee the safety of the citizens and the government.

When it comes to security, Lord Vader believes that "no one [should] stop us this time". He'll not flinch at sending troops into danger to protect us from terror. Ask the pilots who followed the Millennium Falcon into an asteroid belt.

In War: Lord Vader led from the front in the Empire's war on terror, personally striding into a war zone on the hostile world of Hoth as he attempted to capture a champagne socialist "princess" and her outlaw lover.

Darth Vader flew a fighter and managed to score several kills in pitched space combat against enemy starfighters at the battle of Yavin IV. Did George Bush shoot down anything in the Texas ANG? Did John Kerry get any kills other than helpless South Vietnamese villagers?

On Efficiency: Lord Vader doesn't tolerate incompetent officers in the Imperial Navy who think they can survive by pleasantries and perfumery. He would have dealt decisively with Wesley Clark the first time Clark tried to end-run him. You could ask Admiral Kendall Ozzel, had he not run afoul of Lord Vader. Captain Lorth Needa is also a testament to Lord Vader's efficiency focus. He wants results, not excuses.

In dangerous times, we can't trust either waffling ex-vets who by the way served in Vietnam or ANG playboys who never left the continent. We have to trust a fearsome warrior who by his very visage commands respect among the lawful and fear among the lawless.

The choice is clear-cut, as if made by a lightsaber: Vader 2004

Tip of the Executor hat to My Pet Jawa.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 11:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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