Sayeth JohnL: [L]et's have us a "Girls Aloud" poll. I concur.

A bit of brave research farmed out to a friend in the United Kingdom was first necessary, in order to establish the identities of these young women, all of whom seem to have been born after me. Based upon the gallant sacrifice of my British contact, I can confirm the following data:

Sarah Harding - white dress
Nicola Roberts - blue dress
Kimberley Walsh - pink dress
Nadine Coyle - yellow dress
Cheryl Tweedy - green dress

John wants us to express a preference, and that can be done. Sarah Harding fails for looking like Kate Hudson's less intelligent---if that's possible---younger sister who's acting in pornography, despite the fact that blond hair, blue eyes, and pale skin generally place one on the fast track to my approval. (See Blanchett, Cate.) Nicola Roberts never registers, except when I think she's drunk. Sorry, luv. Miss Walsh looks unwashed, and that's a fatal minus. This leaves our last two, Miss Coyle and Miss Tweedy.

Miss Coyle reminds me of Sandra Bullock, which really doesn't score her any points. She's obviously the focal point of the video, but I'm not really sure that she deserves it.

Miss Tweedy, on the other hand, is hard to catch a glimpse of. Perhaps I betray my age by stating that I'm simply not fast enough in the eyes to cope with the quick cuts that the director of the video relies upon. Shades of blipverts, ladies and gentlemen. That being said, I can't help but be reminded of the Tweedy farm from Chicken Run whenever this girl is mentioned. "Nobody escapes from Tweedy's farm!"

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I was all set to award my vote to Miss Tweedy for a variety of reasons, but in the course of personal research, I found something that irrevocably tipped the vote in Miss Coyle's direction. Miss Tweedy has made the poor choice of being photographed while wearing a hat emblazoned with the seal of the hated New York Yankees. She is therefore by definition consorting with the enemy, and is permanently disqualified from any favorable consideration.

Nadine Coyle, ye of the yellow dress, you win.

Posted by: Country Pundit at 10:50 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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