Friday Five 02 January 2004

OK, so I forgot to do the first Friday Five of 2004 entirely on time. I plead the defense of being enslaved to storing Christmas ornaments, and also goings on at Blogs for Bush as having distracted me. Look for my quasi-mordant commentary in several threads there, eh.

Here goes:

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .

1. ...today?

Since I'm writing this at the end of the day on Saturday, I suppose I'm looking most forward to going to church tomorrow, because a good friend of mine is almost always in the pew behind me, and we always have pleasant conversations about (primarily) railroads.

2. ...over the next week?

I'm most looking forward to the completion of an academic project and the fun parts of my return to law school for the final semester. What those fun parts will be, I don't know.

3. ...this year?

The period that comes after the successful completion of law school and successful passage of the Virginia bar. That'll be a reason for considerable celebration and thanksgiving, rejoicing, and other things related to it.

4. ...over the next five years?

A successful transition to being a small town Southern lawyer. That involves procurement of a Mrs. Country Pundit, but the outlook on that isn't good at the moment. Felgercarb.

5. ...for the rest of your life?

Hrrm. Success, power, and wealth. That's flippant and sarcastic, but I don't quite have the Fifty-Year Plan laid out yet. I suppose the answer is, "I'm looking forward to a life lived in such a way so that when I have to answer to higher authorities at the end of said life, their evaluation will read 'acceptable' and I'll get the cheery welcome into Heaven, instead of a first-class one-way ticket on the Express Elevator to Hell."

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Better Late Than Never - Things Not to Do at ROTK

This is late (as usual) but I ran across the thing late last night and, 23-odd hours later, am finally getting to posting it, What Not To Do During Return of the King". Excerpted in full here:

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

17. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"

18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!"

The Country Pundit pleads guilty to 6, 13, and 17. I had to do something during that movie.

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Happy Birthday, Professor!

On this date in 1892, a man named John was born in Bloemfontein, South Africa. He would later go on to fight in the Great War and became an academic, with some note coming to him for his work in philology. He also liked to write books on the side.

Why do we care?

His name was John Ronald Reuel Tolkein.

Happy 112th, Professor. Thank you for your work.

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Nixon v. Dean - Decision 2004

The Country Pundit is quite fond of President Richard M. Nixon, which probably sets me apart from the vast majority of the blogosphere, be they Republicans or Democrats. That being said, I'm usually taking umbrage at one Democrat or another for making some snide remark about some perceived ill of the Nixon Administration. As of late, I've been meaning to put a broadside or two into Howard Dean, who's been aiming at the Sage of Saddle River in recent speeches.

Governor Dean's been making some fumbling protestations about Richard Nixon's so-called "Southern strategy", and how it was somehow inherently based upon racism. Yes, Nixon the racist candidate. Hubert Humphrey helps create Johnson's program of black suffrage and whatnot ("You blacks need me to help you...") and George Wallace more or less comes right out and declares his disdain for the civil rights movement, and Richard Nixon's the racist.

Only in American politics can you find something this surreal. Nixon wants to be less than hell-for-leather in the implementation of busing, and this apparently vaults him over George Corley Wallace in terms of racism, or at least Governor Dean thinks so.

I'd like to see Dr. Strange be so bold against a living and viable Richard Nixon. Take a half-wit governor from a third-rate State and send him up against the most successful national-ticket Republican (four wins in five appearances; leads the modern era of American electoral politics; given the irregularities of 1960, I'm tempted to peg him at 5-0 for pure spite) and see how he does.

A very delightful article came to my attention via Dana of Note-It Posts, commenting upon President Nixon versus Howard Dean. Ed of Late Final penned it, and I enjoyed reading it. My favorite part for use against Dean is reproduced below:

Nixon won a squeaker of an election against Hubert Humphrey that was made closer by Wallace, who won 46 electoral votes from below the Mason-Dixon line. (So much for that "Southern Strategy.")

Heh heh heh, a good post to make a Nixon Administration double-play. Thanks for the post, Ed!

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Richard Nixon Strikes Back

I found this on CNN today; it finally "proves" the old saw I'd heard about Dr. Henry A. Kissinger making some thinly-veiled remark to someone (probably an OPEC minister) that the West would not for long tolerate the oil embargos of the 1970s. The British intelligence apparat seems to have been concerned that President Nixon would order some sort of invasion of the Middle East, to secure the oil reserves there and to get them out of the hands of the OPEC magnates.

According to these documents---which I intend to try and track down---the Brits determined that we were right angry over the embargo (y'think?) and that we could do pretty good by bagging Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Abu Dhabi.

Leave it to President Nixon to take a bold stance in dealing with Arab perfidy. I wasn't alive during the oil embargo of 1973, so I don't remember anything about it. This sort of reputation is one reason I like Richard Nixon. Although the existence of the 'madman theory' has been reportedly discredited, it is good when those who want to oppose you have to fear you. It doesn't do much to embolden OPEC if they have to worry about American paras falling in on them after a production cut and a price hike.

Anyways.

Admittedly, now that I think about it, we're already in Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait, and I bet the Brits would swap Abu Dhabi for Iraq pretty easily. Heh heh heh, the Nixon Administration proves its presience again! That article a couple of months ago comparing Nixon to Bush seems to have been born out after all.

I can now feel better about having Bush as the President for the next four years. It's fun using slogans like, "Re-elect the President" or "Now, more than ever." That just warms my evil little Republican operative's heart.

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